Provisionally titled "the difference it does make"

Spending several hours one weekend afternoon trying to entertain self among various white rooms with small windows Sloped hallway with high ceiling; above near ceiling are shelves stacked with old (70s-80s) books and audio equipment

Weird alternate version of house with much less tree cover, house is kind of shitty AD asking me to pull off wings of giant dragonfly, I refuse OK, here goes...I'm listening to Cab Voltaire or some industrial music, I see dirt pile in conifer woods...there's a mask or something sitting on the dirt pile and I found out it's an actual human face Large green field at sunset with looming cabin-like building; wavy, vast fields of green lit by setting sun like in some fantasy video game. I feel calm but not safe. Strange red animal creature (like Angel) on a black background, sitting on table and looking toward viewer; his eyes are slanted and he has a bizarre, contorted expression

Indian guy and his brother lived in white house behind us He hanged his younger brother, who swung perpetually for several days from a tree behind the tall birdhouse over the swamp I cut him down and waited anxiously for them to prepare the viewing/funeral Jan lived with them for some reason and was crying

Swimming under an oil rig, the emerging and crawling into the underside of the oil rig where oil was being dripped into giant buckets He watched his son have his throat slit "White bleeding" – where many small veins are cut and the victim bleeds out through them and dies

I was reading a list of people who died in the collapse by floor; a girl on the 4th floor died when "molten milk" hit her in the eye After evacuating, I was walking soaking wet through a parking lot wearing my bed clothes and sandals without socks I could barely see and was in some old clinical building, couldn't find the exit for the life of me. A black girl had a phone number for an eye doctor on her shirt, I asked if she could show it to me, she said "leave me alone, you're creeping me out" I walked out into a yard and some maintenance men followed me, told me I could jump through a gap in the fence

Complicated staircases and halls near gym/PE area. Weird deformed girl in wheelchair is stalking me and I'm trying to evade her but can't. She has black duct tape over her eyes and is very short and fat, can only move her hand. Shitty dilapidated industrial zones, large parking lots near Delaware river/Memorial Bridge. One warehouse full of confiscated child pornography. In Maine, there is a clearing in a forest containing strange, Da Vinci-esque spiral towers and many TV antennas set up in a field. They are marked by mysterious and threatening descriptions on Google Earth.

I was diagnosed with meningitis, and found out that its mortality rate is now 90%. The reason Bill Watterson avoids the public eye is because years ago he was spotted walking into a tunnel-shaped cave on a beach and emerging from the other end fully nude, and Inside Edition ran a piece about it. We lived in a shitty apartment with '70s carpeting. We had a taste of what it was like to die, and it was just like sleeping. I was extremely disappointed, for some reason, that there was no afterlife. Not even an aftertaste of life? The shower was full of soap bottles and cut hair lined the floor.

A marble slab with beveled edges

Multiple little brown bats in my area died after being fed sweet potatoes by some residents. After some investigation, I discovered that they weren't choking on or being poisoned by the sweet potatoes, but were being pecked to death by herring gulls who attempted to steal the sweet potatoes from bats as they fed.

"From the depths of her coma, she is sometimes found yawning spontaneously with brief episodes of agitation, screaming, crying, and unprompted sudden, jerky limb movements. There's someone inside, but that person is trapped in a prison of her own comatose body."

I saw a large polyphemus moth in the doctor's office parking lot today. When I moved it from the pavement to a bush, I could hear its wings flapping as it climbed onto my finger. It had large antennae. Yesterday I had cinnamon cake, a most delicious cinnamon cake. I made icing too. "Paradise was unendurable, otherwise the first run would have adapted to it; this world is no less so, since here we regret paradise or anticipate one. What to do? where to go? Do nothing and go nowhere, easy enough." -Emil Cioran

October 18 2022:

1 October 2022: An older Phil, now with an adult daughter, waking up in front of the TV early in the morning and going to bed.

12 September 2022: Red Hum – Heinz ketchup bottle filled with marshmallow fluff

5 September 2022: Driving through forested long island. Leaving hotel but I had to take some old man's 2 mid-'80s Jeep Cherokees with me. Frail, never cried as a newborn. Man came to talk to us. I put headphones on, stood up and walked away without offering explanation or even making eye contact.

1 September 2022: I'm here to announce that I've learned nothing. I forget that people have feelings, it's not that big of a flaw.

26 August 2022: I was driving on this busy 2-lane road, to the left was this large well-kept yard bordered by tall hedge rows with a patch of pavement or round section of driveway, and to the right may have been a cemetery with lots of trees. The car in front of me (a brown 2010 GMC Acadaia) served into the cemetery and it was obvious that the driver was drunk. I panicked as I didn't want to be hit by the drunk driver, so I pulled off into the yard to the left of me and tried to hide. I drove further into the yard as it sloped downwards and into a paved area with a large concrete sculpture resembling a large radio telescope. I then saw the drunk driver on the other side of the